


Beware The Starving Hound

by AnxiousCoffee (TheHallowedAngel)



Series: Food Is Not The Enemy [1]
Category: Glee
Genre: Blaine Has An Eating Disorder, Blaine is trying to be okay, Bulimia, Can't forget that one, Canon Related, Eating Disorders, Gen, Kurt tries to do what he thinks is right, Vomiting, karofsky is mentioned, no relationship yet, oh yeah, spoiler alert: they're both pretty miserable in this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-01
Updated: 2018-12-01
Packaged: 2019-09-05 01:58:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16801417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheHallowedAngel/pseuds/AnxiousCoffee
Summary: Blaine isn't actually doing as well as he likes people to think and Kurt keeps stumbling into moments that Blaine would rather keep behind closed doors.





	Beware The Starving Hound

**Author's Note:**

> Seriously I cannot stress this enough, there's graphic depictions of vomiting and strong themes of eating disorders, don't read if you're triggered by those themes.

The first time Kurt caught him was when they were both still at Dalton. Kurt had gone into the bathrooms, where the lack of stall doors had never bothered him before, to give his hair a quick check over and found Blaine squatting in the first cubical, apparently trying to shove his entire fist down his throat.   
  
Kurt had felt like he was intruding on something private, like he was poking around in places no man should go. And it honestly scared him. He grabbed hold of the door before it got chance to close and then left quicker than he'd entered, closing it as softly as he could manage.   
  
When he confronted a few of the other Warblers members about it they seemed to already know, in fact they just looked at eachother and asked Kurt not to mention to Blaine that he'd walked in on anything at all. Immediately his mind had started to run laps around all the different things that this could mean and how long this must have been going on for if they were so used to it. And how much Blaine must hate it if they told him not to talk about it.   
  
He said nothing.   
  
-   
  
The second time wasn't long after he'd transferred back to William McKinley, Blaine had come over to help deal with Karofsky and they'd snuck off to the back entrance of the restaurant and got given a little box with two slices of leftover cheesecake. WMHS wasn't good for most things (the budgets were unfairly distributed, the desks in all the classrooms were covered in graffiti, the bathrooms never had toilet paper and the bullying was really out of control mostly) but the cheesecake was to die for.    
  
They'd sat under the bleachers with a couple of plastic forks the cook gave them and they talked about the tv programmes the liked and the cute boys on them. It was absolutely perfect, the way Blaine's eyes lit up despite the heavy bags under his eyes, the way his smile made his cheeks look full of colour. It was so nice to see him happy like this, not as far away as he always looked.    
  
He had excused himself to the bathroom and Kurt hadn't even given it a second though, he had just gathered their stuff up and thrown the boxes and forks into the bin and headed in the same direction. Blaine had gone in.   
  
He was going to wait outside the bathroom but he realised it was best to go to the bathroom now and not risk needing to go while they were walking Blaine home and so he slipped in and let the door shut silently out of habit. His heart hit the floor and shattered into a million pieces, the same hushed retching bouncing of the restroom walls now as that day. And sure enough, under the door of the middle (and always cleanest) cubicle, he could see the shoes Blaine took such good care of. They were scuffed at the toes now though, streaked by the linoleum floors.    
  
And as he watched Blaine sit back on his heels his heart started to pound against his skull; Kurt backed out of the bathroom with as much care as he used when walking past Karofsky. He pressed his back to the lockers a few feet down the hallway and let the back of his head smack against some display about healthy eating.    
  
Once again, he stayed silent about what he'd walked into.   
  
-   
  
The third time was the worst, probably.    
  
He has started to keep a close eye in Blaine whenever they ate together but he didn't notice anything off. He was happy, he even looked like he was gaining weight again, and he was enjoying food. He transferred a few months ago now, at the start he had avoided lunch for the most part but now he would push them all to go as fast as possible because he was hungry.    
  
There was a trip for English, they were going to this nice little nature reserve a little away from the school, to sit in a field and use the scenery as a poetry muse. They'd been given packed lunches to take with them and Blaine couldn't have the salad he normally got from the cafe and he actually looked scared of the bag they'd packed him.   
  
It was the exact same as Kurt had, a ham and cheese sandwich, a bag of off-brand cheetos, an apple and some breakfast bar thing with a fruit filling. He ate the sandwich while talking to Kurt and trying to smile at his jokes, the crisps he picked at slowly while his eyes darted around the other kids. He ate the apple while trying his best to avoid everyone's eyes- even those who weren't looking at him. The fruit bar he ate while staring at his lap with this glassy look to his eyes.   
  
When lunch break was over Kurt watched him go up to Mr Schue, who'd come as a chaperone, to ask about the bathrooms and then shift awkwardly when Schue asked him how urgent it was. He turned his head away just as Blaine cast a glance over his shoulder and then said, very quietly, that it was pretty urgent.   
  
Schuester had hesitated for a couple moments before he told him to hurry and go into the forest and make it snappy.    
  
As Blaine walked past him Kurt felt his own stomach twist when he saw that happy look in his eyes again, the same look he had when he laughed at Kurt's stories or talked about choir stuff.    
  
Kurt hated himself for it but he followed Blaine into the trees, as closely as he dare without risking being caught, and he held his breath as Blaine rolled up his sleeves and braced himself against an unsuspecting tree.    
  
Kurt couldn't help but notice how much quicker it happened this time, the other two times he'd intruded on this moment it seemed to take a couple of tries before anything came up but he barely had his fingers in to the second joint before a gurgling heave sent his lunch splattering against the base of the tree. It happened again and again and each time Blaine gagged Kurt felt his stomach jump up his own throat and he just couldn't take it.    
  
He bit his lip so hard he could taste blood and he spun on his heels, taking just enough careful steps to get him out of earshot before breaking into a run. Tears burned his cheeks as he stumbled off, he couldn't have stopped them even if he tried to, and he smashed straight into Schuester's chest- who then toppled over along with Kurt.   
  
Will shuffled back and took hold of his shoulders and asked him what was wrong but all Kurt could do was shake his head as he sobbed over his lap.    
  
For the third time he didn't say a word.   
  
-   
  
The fourth time left him feeling numb.    
  
Blaine hadn't been the same since the field trip, he'd stopped rushing for lunch and when he ate he did more picking than chewing. No one even seemed to notice, except Kurt.    
  
But they probably hadn't breached the same personal moments Kurt had.   
  
He hadn't eaten much of his salad, just pushed it around his plate and sipped on the same bottle of water he'd been filling up all day. Everyone else was talking but it was all white noise, Kurt couldn't pick out any single voice from the muddle of words flying at his ears and it was starting to get to be too much for him. Laughing, moaning, small talk, flirting, singing.    
  
He took a deep breath and put a smile on his face, clearing his throat to address the group and tell them some lie about overdue homework so he could run away.    
  
He was sat on the lid of the toilet in the last stall and crying in peace when the door opened and his heart stopped dead. Sneakers squeaked against the floor as someone checked all the stalls and then let out a shaky breath.    
  
He knew that shaky breath.    
  
He choked back the next sob as Blaine walked into the stall next to him and locked the door, crouching in front of the toilet. There was a moment of silence before anything happened, but soon enough Kurt heard the familiar sound of sick hitting the back of the toilet bowl, no gagging at all this time. Twice more, each time Kurt swore he would pass out, before it was over.   
  
Maybe he was wrong, maybe the fourth time was the worst.   
  
-   
  
Five times should have been enough to let Kurt know he had to say something, if not to Blaine then to someone who could. But he wasn't strong enough.   
  
He was hiding in the bathroom again, this time it was the gross ones in the science block that no one used because a kid blew up a sink with potassium he stole from the tech room. Blaine walked in right on time, he knew it was Blaine because Kurt had memorised the way he walked into a room when he was nervous.   
  
This time he didn't check the stalls, Kurt wasn't surprised. He had been looking more and more exhausted recently, his cheeks have been thinning again and his eyes growing darker. He hadn't been dancing about as much either, and he had to sit out of Cheerios practice the other day because he all but collapsed against Sue 'battleaxe' Sylvester, white as a sheet and shaking in his now over-sized uniform.    
  
He didn't even go into a stall either, there was a sharp intake of breath before the tiniest burp bounced off the walls and then something splashed into a sink. Kurt wondered if it was just water this time, or maybe coffee. He read somewhere that caffeine acted as an appetite suppressant and Blaine had been drinking a lot more recently. There was silence after that. He realised quite suddenly that each time he'd heard this happen there had been less and less for Blaine to puke up.    
  
He wondered if he should have said something sooner, if by keeping his mouth he was becoming the worst friend ever. He had let it get this bad, he'd sat back and just watched- well, he'd only really watched once, the rest of the times he just listened -as Blaine continued to run himself into the ground. He realised (he'd been doing that a lot, hadn't he?) that he had enabled this.   
  
He also realised that while he was spacing out and thinking about how bad he was as a human being Blaine had walked up to the stall and was stood right outside of the door.   
  
He could hear his blood pumping in his ears as he held his hands to his face and Kurt was suddenly worried his heartbeat was so loud that Blaine could hear it through the door. Damn it he was just being stupid there was absolutely no way that Blaine could know it was h-   
  
"You can come out now, Kurt."


End file.
